John Ohno
2 min readApr 12, 2022

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Whenever I complain about dating, there’s a certain kind of guy who sees it, fails to process what I’m actually saying, and criticizes me for insufficient alpha posturing bullshit.

And they all feel entitled to flood my notifications with it, too. Fucking jerks.

i know intellectually that my ability to have a persistently active love life is not a good measure of my value as a person, but i grew up on 80s teen comedies so it’s really hard to get rid of this internalized judgement

80s teen comedies take place in a horrifying dystopian reality where God (in the form of the screenwriter) shows men that they are on the right path by getting them laid and shows them they are on the wrong path by embarrassing them in public through elaborate accidents

i was not raised with any religion, so the horny, wrathful god of 80s teen movies has had a deeper effect upon my psyche than the horny, wrathful god of the old testament

at least i weaned myself off the 90s rom-com god, who rewards stalking and only stalking

every day i meet people who learned how to live from the same movies i did, but who never figured out that they were wrong about how to live in the real world. they tend to call me a cuck for, like, not stalking people

I’ve been telling myself for years that the appropriate thing to do is to stop caring that I’m single. I probably wouldn’t be made happier by a relationship (or at least, it’d take a very special relationship to make me happy), so it’s not a sensible goal to have (and…

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John Ohno
John Ohno

Written by John Ohno

Resident hypertext crank. Author of Big and Small Computing: Trajectories for the Future of Software. http://www.lord-enki.net

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