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Agile: 1. an attribute of any team, no matter how dysfunctional; 2. [see SCRUM]
Altcoin: a slow spreadsheet [see Blockchain]
Big data: spreadsheets that won’t fit in excel
Big data science: a silicon valley themed porn parody of the Insane Clown Posse film “Big Money Hustlers”
Blockchain: [marketing slang] slow linked list
Business logic: whatever actions the software is intended to perform (as opposed to the much greater number of actions forced by poor design decisions)
CGI: 1. a shell script that prints HTML; 2. pixels
Cloud, the: a computer you rented from Amazon or Microsoft
Cloud computing: the pyramid-selling of cycles
Container: slow chroot jail
Containerization: a packaging method wherein a script is packaged with an entire linux distribution [see Electron]
Crypto: 1. (obs.) cryptography; 2. an altcoin
Data: spreadsheets
Data mining: using grep on your http logs
Data science: using grep on your http logs with a minor in statistics
Deep learning: brute force statistical modeling, performed by non-staticians, using third party code on rented computers [see Cloud, Cloud computing, Data]
